Why I base my social life around my dog

Since getting my baby girl Florence 3 months ago (Saturday was our 3-month-iversary, yay!), a common refrain from me on nights out has become, "I have to go, I need to get home to my dog." And a common response to this refrain has become an incredulous, "You let your dog dictate your social life?"

The short answer is: Yes. Yes I do.

The long answer is: HELL yes I do.

Seriously though-- are any of the ass-clowns I meet at parties and talk with tipsily for a couple of hours going to snuggle with me that night and be thrilled just to be allowed in my bed? Will any of them wake up the next morning and be so excited to see my face they can barely contain themselves from dancing on my head? No? I didn't think so.

Guess what? My dog does those things. And not only does she do them, she does them consistently and genuinely. And all she asks in return is that I get home in time to take her out to pee so she doesn't have to wet her bed.

So yeah, I base my social life around my dog. And maybe someday, if some human appreciates me half as much as my dog does, he'll be lucky enough for me to base my social life around him. Til then, it's me and Baby Girl, holdin down the fort.