Fashion Hymn of the Greater Public

or, 'Stop Infringing on Public Decency Laws'

(An ode to a couple of my most favouritest current 'fashions.' Inspired by my mind's eye being scarred forever, and sung to the tune of 'Battle Hymn of the Republic.')

Mine eyes have seen the horror of the sheer tights worn as pants*
The bulges and the panty lines, they had me in a trance
I couldn't tear my eyes away despite my best intents
And now I'm scarred for life

Why oh why do people do this?
Don't they know they're really pants-less?
No one wants to see your bare ass
Please don't insist we do

Mine eyes have seen the horror of the butt-cheeks on parade
Protruding from the hot-pants of the hipsters in AA**
But oh! It's so ironic, right? So that makes it okay!
The hot-pant marches on

Why oh why do people do this?
Don't they know they're really pants-less?
No one wants to see your bare ass
Please don't insist we do
PLEASE DON'T INSIST WE DO.



*The word 'pants' in this context is to be taken in the American sense, that is, trousers.
** 'AA' used here to signifiy American Apparel, not Alcoholics Anonymous.