Apartment-hunting... oops i mean *flat*-hunting...

Flat-hunting in London is a form of art. It involves timing, street-smarts, and fooling complete strangers into thinking you're normal just long enough that they agree to let you a room, at which point you can begin to show your true colors (though I recommend waiting to do this until all your things have been moved in-- it makes it much more difficult for them to surreptitiously remove you if they've got to lift your 80-pound suitcase).

But first things first-- before even meeting your potential future flatmates, you've got to become expert at spotting dodgy ads. Craigslist and Gumtree will tell you not to make any transactions involving Western Union lest your money end up funding gun-runners in Outer Mongolia and the like, but I will tell you it's much more complicated than that. You've got to learn to spot the Socially Awkward lot, the Just Want Some Contact with Girls lot, the Forget to Wash a Dish and We'll Evict You lot, and any and all lots that could be fronts for prostitution rings. Not to mention learning how to spot key words that are dead giveaways to a crap living situation. For example: "Roomshare" means you will likely be sharing a room-- nay, a bed-- with anywhere from one to three persons of assorted gender, any and all of whom may at some point try to get in your pants. "Cozy" means you will likely be inhabiting a space roughly the size of a postage stamp. "Central" can mean anywhere from a five to sixty-five minute commute to the center of the city where you wish to live/work/etc. And I will tell you this for free, anyplace in London that unconditionally offers you 'pet-friendly' accomodations will likely take your money, run, then come back for your shoes, socks, and trousers, and run again.

Thankfully I managed to learn most of these things without actually ever having to share a bed with three assorted people or getting my shoes taken (Mama didn't raise no fool)... Though I shouldn't speak too soon-- I have yet to actually secure a room in a flat, and am currently waiting for a call from someone whose flat I viewed yesterday and would very much like to occupy. It feels a bit like being that desperate girl who sits by her phone all day hoping her mediocre date from last night will call... not that I would know ;).