Waste not, want not!

Apparently, despite our horrible reputation as the biggest wastrels on the planet, Americans are actually quite thrifty. And British people, as it turns out, are not. (Not that I am making sweeping generalizations here at all.) The most recent incident that proves this hypothesis took place in a nice little pub in the London borough of Chiswick:

After ordering risotto [possibly the only vegetarian option on the menu-- did I mention that British people are also decidedly in love with meat?? There was, I swear, a 'meat plate' on the menu, and every dish seemed to feel the need to contain not one but TWO OR MORE types of meat, e.g. 'chicken and ham pie'. Wtf??], I was unable to finish the entire portion. Being like any normal American, and- I thought- normal PERSON, I of course asked for the remainder to be boxed up to go. After being looked at like I had sprung a second, third, and fourth head, I was told that unfortunately they were unable to accommodate such a [bizarre] request. (The 'bizarre' was added in by me- but you could tell from the gentleman's face that he was thinking it.) But, being American, I of course decided not to give up (how do you think we won the Revolutionary War??). So I asked for some foil. "I'll see what I can do... Just for you, love," was the gentleman's response. (Even though he thought I was weird he still called me 'love'- how cute.)

Well, after waiting, five, ten, nay, fifteen minutes for my foil, I pretty much had given up on outside help, so I took matters into my own hands. I looked around the table for something suitable and disposable in which to store leftover risotto and came up empty-handed. Then one of my friends conveniently told me that the glasses we were drinking out of come free to restaurants from the drink company (thank you, Pimm's!). By now you've probably guessed what I did, but if not, I will tell you. With my guilt over stealing assuaged by the fact that the glasses were FREE, I surreptitiously and expertly shoved my risotto into my empty water glass, covered it with a napkin, sealed the napkin with a hairband et voila! My very own (reusable, eco-friendly) doggie bag. If you're wondering how I surreptitiously and expertly smuggled my doggie bag out of the pub, I will tell you that too: in my friend's wee Accessorize bag, of course! Granted, about five minutes later my dear waiter came back with an entire ream of foil and I had to pretend that I'd already consumed the remaining risotto whilst in fact stashing it under the table, but still- a fairly genius improvisation, no? You're welcome, America, for restoring your name as a land of innovation, and you're welcome Britain for transplanting my thrifty genius to your shores.

Pictures of my doggie-bag adventure to come... Time to go eat my leftover risotto!